Witziges

    Also ich hatte weder mit XP Stabilitätsprobleme noch mit Vista ergo kann ich dazu nur sagen: Sie funktionieren beide. Nur mit einigen älteren Spielen gibt es hin und wieder Probleme (Aber sollten mal aufhören ist ja nicht der Windoof Thread hier^^)

    SOME GREAT QUESTIONS BROUGHT TO YOU BY PETER KAY



    1) Why does your gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed?


    2) If a person owns a piece of land do they own it all the way down to the core of the earth?


    3) Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?


    4) Is it possible to brush your teeth without wiggling your bottom?


    5) Why is it called Alcoholics Anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say, 'My name is Peter and I am an alcoholic'?


    6) Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?


    7) Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?


    8) Why does mineral water that 'has trickled through mountains for centuries' have a 'use by' date?


    9) Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?


    10) Is French kissing in France just called kissing?


    11) Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink whatever comes out'?


    12) What do people in China call their good quality plates?


    13) Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?


    14) What do you call male ballerinas?


    15) Why is a person that handles your money called a 'Broker'?


    16) If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?


    17) If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?


    18) Why is it that when someone tells you that there are over a billion stars in the universe, you believe them, but if they tell you there is wet paint somewhere, you have to touch it to make sure?

    Everybody knows - SHIT HAPPENS


    Taoism - "Shit happens."
    Confucianism - "Confucius says, 'shit happens'."
    Buddhism - "If shit happens, it isn't really shit."
    Zen - "What is tthe sound of shit happening?"
    Hinduism - "This shit happened before."
    Sikhism - "Leave our shit alone."
    Hare Krishna - "Shit happens, rama lama ding dong."
    Islam - "If shit happens, it is the will of Allah."
    Nation of Islam - "Don't take no shit!"
    Jehovas Witness - "Knock knock, shit happens."
    Protestantism - "Let shit happen to someone else."
    Catholicism - "If shit happens, you deserve it."
    Judaism - "Why does the shit always happen to us?"
    Orthodox Judaism - "So shit happens already."
    Televangelism - "Send money or shit will happen to you."
    Mormonism - "Excrement happens."
    Amish - "Modern shit is useless."
    Baptism - "We'll wash the shit right off you."
    Atheism - "I don't believe this shit."
    Agnostiasm - "What is this shit?"
    Rastafarianism - "Let's smoke the shit!"
    New Age - "Vizualize shit happening."
    Shintoism - "You inherit the shit of your ancestors."
    Hedonism - "I love it when shit happens."
    Satanism - "Sneppah tihs."
    Existentialism - "What is shit, anyway?"
    Scientology - "If shit happens, see Dianetics p.137."
    Darwinism - "Survival of the shittest."
    Einstein - "Shit is relative."
    Mystiasm - "This is really weird shit."
    Vodoo - "Shit doesn't just happen - we made it happen."
    Wiccan - "You can make shit happen, but shit will happen to you three times."
    Captialism - "This is MY shit."
    Communism - "Let's share the shit."
    Marxism - "You have nothing to lose but your shit."
    Materialism - "Whoever dies with the most shit wins."
    Americanism - "Who gives a shit?"
    Conspiracy Theorism - "THEY shit on us!"
    Psychoanalysis - "Tell me about your shit."
    Suicidal - "I've had enough of this shit!"
    Optimism - "Shit won't happen to me."
    Feminism - "Men are shit."
    Trekism - "To boldly go where no-one has shit before."
    Shakespearean - "To shit or not to shit, that is the question."
    Descartes - "I shit, therefore I am."
    Nihilism - "Bad shit will always happen."
    Freudian - "Shit is a phallic symbol."
    Lawyers - "For enough money, I can get you out of this shit."
    Acupuncturist - "Hold still or this will hurt like shit."
    Dog - "I just shit in your shoe."
    Cat - "Dogs are shit."
    Mouse - "Oh shit, a cat!"
    Politically correct - "Internally processed nutritionally-drained biological output happens."
    Familly gathering - "Relatives are shit."
    Disneyism - "Bad shit doesn't happen here."
    Vegetarianism - "It it shits, don't eat it."
    Fatalism - "Oh shit, it's going to happen."
    Environmentalism - "Shit is bio-degradable."
    Statistican - "Shit is 83,6% likely to happen."
    Hip-Hop - "Motherfuck this shizzit, beeatch!"
    Tantrism - "Fuck this shit."
    Cyniasm - "We are full of shit."
    Surrealism - "Fish happens."

    :D Da fehlt ja was!


    Shamanism - "Whoaa ... Holy Shit!"
    Scientology - "For $30.000 more, we will show you really how much shit it is."
    Rock'n'Roll - "It's one for the money, two for the shit!"
    Islam (fundamentalistic) - "Don't take any shit - take hostages!"
    Calvinism - "Shit happens because you don't work hard enough."
    Lutheranism - "Shit happens, but as long as you're sorry, it's okay."


    Btw, das gibt's als Poster? 8)

    Adam sitzt im Paradies und hört Gott seufzen: „Schwierig, schwierig ...“
    Adam: „Was denn?“
    Herrgott: „Also, ich habe da noch zwei Eigenschaften zwischen dir und Eva zu verteilen.“
    Adam: „Und welche sind das?“
    Herrgott: „Die erste ist Im-Stehen-Pinkeln-können.“
    Adam: „Au ja, bitte ich! Das will ich unbedingt können – Das stell ich mir super vor, bitte, bitte, bitte, lass‘ mich im Stehen pinkeln können!“
    „So sei es!“
    Daraufhin markiert Adam jeden einzelnen Baum und Busch im Paradies und freut sich diebisch über seine neue Fähigkeit ... Als er schließlich zum Herrgott zurückkommt, meint er: „Und was war die andere?“
    Herrgott: „Multiple Orgasmen!“

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